Yesterday: Alarm at 5: 00 am. I know I said today I 8217; d go to the gym first thing but this is an unhealthy hour. I need sleep. Experts say getting enough sleep helps you lose weight. So I 8217; m going to listen to the experts. Sets alarm for 6: 15. I 8217; ll do a workout video in the morning and hit the gym after lunch. 6: 15 snoozed to 6: 30 8230; Okay. We 8217; re on a Diet. No fats. No Fried anything. No Sweets. No Chocolate. No Caffeine, No Alcohol, No unhealthy anything. What is there to eat in this house 8230; almost nothing. 8: 15 am Breakfast. I 8230;. need 8230; food. Cereal. Healthy plain bran flake cereal I 8217; ve let sit on the shelf for months is the only low sugar option available. I 8217; ll start good. I 8217; ll be good. Hmmm 8230; taste bad 8230; taste like it 8217; s stale 8230; I 8217; ll fix that 8230; with fruit. Lots of fruit 8230;. and milk 8230;. and orange juice 8230;. who knew eating healthy could taste good 8230;. why haven 8217; t I started this before, this is easy 8230;. it 8217; s still chewy and stale, but the fruit helps. Morning room sweeps and dishes and laundry carry us through the next two hours without a mishap except for the two handfuls of M m 8217; s I gave myself when the toddler went to the potty and I handed out rewards. 10: 30 am 8230; Food 8230;. I need food 8230;. can 8217; t have food until 12 8230; the kids want second breakfast. I fixed them frozen waffles and sipped my diet coke with lime virtuously. I just need to make it to 12 8230; 11: 00 am. Double toddler accident below the beltway. Ate a fistful of M m 8217; s to sustain morale. 11: 40 am I 8217; m supposed to wait until 12 8230; what 8217; s 20 minutes 8230; the time it will take me to make the food, so it will be ready by 12, when I get to eat 8230;. tuna 8230; with onions and celery and tomatoes 8230; peppers 8230; and just a tablespoon of mayo 8230; hmmmm. That looks REALLY dry. Maybe little more, NO. No. no. I 8217; ll add a healthy fat, some olive oil 8230; just a drizzle. Okay, that looks much better. Mix it up, on toast 8230; a pickle, an apple sliced up and maybe a big glass of milk. That is a virtuous lunch. It needs a little something hot though, maybe some soup 8230; soup is healthy 8230;. and I 8217; m going to the gym so it will be okay, I can count the calorie credits, they 8217; re all good calories 8230; 1: 00 pm Need to go to gym. Too full 8230; wait until later 8230; let kids watch PBS 8230; feel vague guilt that I 8217; m not putting on fitness workout video for all of us to enjoy or at least try. 1: 15 Pottying success and I grabbed a diet coke instead of eating M m 8217; s. Yeahs all around. Can 8217; t find shoes to get them ready to go to the gym. 1: 30 Still can 8217; t find shoes1: 45 Found 3 shoes 8230; still need one more. 1: 55 found three other shoes, none match. 2: 00 pm Having found a pair of slippers that match, I could technically make a go of it, but child care ends in thirty minutes, wouldn 8217; t be a long enough work out to be worth it 8230; I 8217; ll go at 4 8230; 2: 30 Load car of kids sans shoes for school pick up, find other four matching shoes in car. 3: 00 pm pick up kids from school, Girl Scout cookie orders came in today, so our car is packed with cookies. The kids open a box to share as the afternoon snack while still in the car in the school parking lot, I absentmindedly eat a cookie the kids hand me. It 8217; s a Girl Scout thin mint. Thin mints. The thin mint scent is wafting around in my head. The open sleeve of thin mints is within arm 8217; s reach 8230; resist 8230;. resist 8230;. resist 8230;. what 8217; s a serving? 8230; four 8230; I 8217; ll have just one 8230; so that 8217; s what 8230; 40 calories 8230;. 40 calories 8230; puh. That 8217; s nothing 8230; I 8217; ll make it two, that 8217; s only 80 8230; besides, these two are stuck 8230; explain to kids that thin mints are best eaten straight out of the freezer. One child hands me another thin mint, 8220; I don 8217; t want this type of cookie Mommy, you can have it. 8221; Her eyes are generous and happy. If I refuse, they will be sad 8230; I eat the cookie. Other children offer cookies and I decline by chewing as long as possible, when we get home, my son has wrapped two cookies in a napkin as a gift to me, so I eat those two 8230; 200 calories 8230; trouble. Unloading the car takes about 20 minutes 8230; then the phone rings such that homework gets delayed 8230; a few thin mints may have been eaten in the process… 4: 15 pm 8220; We have to go to the gym.. 8221; 8220; But Mommy, I need to use the computer to type up my Copernicus report. 8221; 8220; And I have to make a diorama using clay and a shoe box for tomorrow 8217; s project on the rain forest. 8221; 8220; Can you read to me? 8221; 8220; I have to practice this piece for the concert on Friday. 8221; I realize that my gym bag doesn 8217; t have my favorite gym pants or shirt and the walkman is missing it 8217; s headphones and needs new batteries… and I only have AA and it needs AAA 8230; I need to repack this 8230; so it goes in the corner to be dealt with later. 5: 30 pm Homework is finished. Music is finished. Thin mints are finished. How did that happen? 8220; Hey Mom, What 8217; s for dinner? 8221; Making a mental note to skip dinner, I fire up the pot of boiling water, put the meatballs in the microwave and begin making a salad. 6: 20 pm Dinner is on the table. It smells great. Maybe I 8217; ll serve myself 8230; sensible portions. 7: 20 pm Time to get people bathed and starting on bed routine. 8: 30 pm Kids are mostly in bed 8230; time to do dishes and put away food. 9: 27 pm 8230; with interruptions and phone calls and retucking in of three separate kids, plus the discovery of an older one in the back basement reading comic books on the sly, dishes are just now getting done. 10: 00 pm 8230; I could go to the gym. It 8217; s open until 11 8230; but I don 8217; t want to go out this late 8230; alone 8230;. and I 8217; m tired 8230; I 8217; ll start tomorrow at five thirty five was too early. I 8217; ll get up and do a DVD 8211; the 21 minute workout, right at six, that way I 8217; ve got a jump on the day and won 8217; t have cut into the schedule by more than 15 minutes 8230;. and I won 8217; t have to worry about what I 8217; m wearing or if I have headphones 8230; just the other sleeve of thin mints in the freezer. For more humorous work outs, either try http: www. humor-blog. com or the new humor magazine by humorist for people seeking something to laugh at on the internet other than the lastest celebrity trainwreck, try The NEW AND EXCITING http: www. claypigeonmag. com!.
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